Why Marriage Counseling?

Take Advantage of Marriage Counseling in Ft. Lauderdale to Get that Spark Back!

If you have been noticing that you haven’t been yourself lately, maybe it is time to speak to someone about the issues you have going on in your life. At The Center of Connected Living, Dr. Corinne Scholtz can offer therapy services, such as bring your pet therapy, teen & adult therapy, and  marriage counseling in Ft. Lauderdale.  For most people who need help to get back up on their feet,  the first step is the most important one. So what is it that is dragging you down?

In this life, there are many reasons to get down on yourself. Reasons could include your job, spousal issues, losing a loved one, and the most hard to cope with–no reason at all. If you and your spouse feel like you have lost the spark and you want to get it back, our marriage counseling in Ft. Lauderdale is for you. We can help you heal past wounds that you may be holding against each other and help you to effectively communicate in a better and healthier way! There are a few different ways to receive marriage counseling: You can schedule your weekly appointment to be one 55 minute session or a 90 minute session. The 90 minute session is one that many couples go forward with, because it is much more extensive. It includes 30 minutes one-on-one time for each spouse and then 30 minutes together. 

Dr. Corinne Scholtz is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Ft. Lauderdale.  She specializes in couples counseling, family therapy, individual therapy and more.  She is a top-rated local therapist. 

Is your mind a mystery?

The Mystery of Our Minds

With a majority of my clients we examine thoughts, assumptions and beliefs that lead us to distress and pain.  We explore the nature of these thoughts in relationship, and how the way we experience ourselves and others is a reciprocal cycle ... We pull 'things' from our experience and relationships based on who we are and the lenses of thoughts/assumptions and and beliefs though which we understand our world.  The 'things' we pull often serve to validate and justify what it is we believe.  So you can see how about experiences and beliefs are intertwined.  Once we can clarify what our thoughts are, we can work on challenging their truthfulness, as not every thing we think is the truth!

"...the mind is the cause of both unhappiness and happiness ... If there is anything worth knowing it is the mind..." - Muktananda

Corinne is a licensed marriage and family therapist is private practice.  Among her specialities are depression, anxiety, affairs, communication, anger, premarital, teens, and more.  Her expertise is in exploring who we are in our relationships, while externalizing and changing relationship to that which plagues us.

When You're Down and Out

I've recently worked with parents who are feeling guilty for mistakes they've made in their lives, and the effects this has on their children.  Sometimes they've been incarcerated, divorced, in poverty, relying on substances and more.  Whatever the case may be, at one point or another we are all going to go through a down and out phase of life.  That's the nature of living.

What's most important and a great lesson to show kids is that no matter how bad it's been, you can choose to look forward and begin again.  Showing kids how to pick themselves up, heal the wounds of life, and forgive are life lessons that can't be learned intellectually, but through experience.  So, instead of living in a limited world of the past, look at what you have to be grateful for in this moment, and nurture the visions you have for your future.

- Dr. Corinne Scholtz in a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice.  She works with pre-adolescent and adolescent children in Ft Lauderdale and the surrounding area.  Contact her for more information about how she works with kids at corinne.scholtz@connectedliving-fl.com

How many ways can you integrate an iPhone into therapy?!

How many ways can you integrate an iPhone into therapy?!

It turns out, several!  I have clients who download affirmations and receive mantras daily on their phones.  Other clients speak and record their own voice on the phone reminding them of their intention(s) and listen to it throughout the day and week.  I'm toying with the idea of integrating videoing into session with the client's consent of course…my idea is to record an argument or a conversation between the two - on one of their phones - and play it back in slower motion with them.  I've found in the past that if I can slow the pace of a conversation it's becomes really productive. 

Lately, a client described to me that one of her go-to coping skills for dealing with anxiety and worry is to call her mom.  She ends up calling her mom with all her concerns. This creates one version of her identity to her mom as a woman who is negative,  worried all the time, and fearful.  In reality, she admits she isn't these things all the time, but most of their conversations are filled with this type of content that it's no wonder her mom thinks this. 

She describes that as a child she would speak and sing into a recorder and listen to it back.  That's when we came up with an idea!  We would use her iPhone as her recorder, and instead of calling her mom to 'talk-it-out', she would record her thoughts and feelings.  Later, when she has a chance to take a step back, she is going to listen to her recording, and think about ways to respond as if it were her friend talking to her!  This addresses her need to talk, allows that conversation with her mom to evolve, and puts her in a empowered role of calming and reassuring herself. 

-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is one of Ft. Lauderdale's top-rated local marriage and family therapists. She specializes in marital therapy, couples counseling, individual concerns and more.   Corinne offers free phone consultations…contact her and get started today.

Acceptance = Growth

As many of you know, I've been on a yoga retreat in Costa Rica.  Part of the experience is a morning meditation, vinyasa hot yoga class, clean eating and body work.  What I'm working on is accepting.  Accepting what is in this moment, in contrast to wishing something was different, or 'better'.  The hardest things to accept in the moment are the areas where we most need to pay attention.  If we try to bypass the acceptance phase, we continue to fight internally with ourselves.  There's the saying 'what you resist will persist'.

In therapy I'm consciously aware of the moments when clients attempt to shift the conversation or avoid talking about the more uncomfortable, vulnerable areas of their lives and relationships.  This signals to me that this is where the real healing can begin.  My ultimate goal is to work at the clients pace, retaining the integrity of their process, and being 'present' as they work through their 'stuff''.  I think we should honor our 'stuff' because that's where compassion and empathy arise.  Once we can own our stuff it makes it easier for others to do the same.

For support and guidance contact me.  I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. Or always feel free to email me.

-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is a licensed marriage and family therapist.  She is the owner of one of S. Florida's premier locations for optional mental and emotional health.  Her expertise is working with relationships - individual therapy, couples therapy, marital counseling, teen support and more. 

A New Response to Feeling Judged

Today I'm thinking about those uncomfortable experiences when we feel judged, or wary of being judged in the future, by someone whose opinion matters to us.   Many times this is an internal fear, something that arises in our minds and convinces us that its truth.  But where we assume wrong - and yes, this fear is an assumption - is thinking we know what others think about us.  In reality, no matter what we do, we can never control anyone's thoughts about us, and nor should we try to.  It's really none of our business!   But we somehow believe that we know what someone else will think, and then respond to that assumption in our mind.  You've started an internal conversation with yourself that has now has nothing to do with the other person!  Our behavior follows our thoughts and my suggestion to you today is to see when you are falling into this mental trap.

The Center of Connected Living is Ft Lauderdale's location for optimal mental and emotional health.  Dr Corinne Scholtz specializes in couples therapy, marital counseling, and individual issues.  Contact her now to learn more about dealing with feeling judged. 

Taking A Break From Yourself!

I'm on a yoga retreat this week in Costa Rica.  As a therapist it's so important to take care of your own mental, emotional and spiritual needs.  After all, you want the very best your therapist can give…and therapy is an intensely personal craft that takes care.

This morning I was taking pictures around the property of the spa where our group is staying.  There is an abundance of nature, sounds, scents and energy that I don't often find in Ft. Lauderdale.  In that moment I recognized that I can take a 'break' from myself!  My routine, normal way of going about things, but more importantly my thinking about things.  This week I'm going to challenge myself to see what I can let go of, what no longer serves me.  The only thing we have control over is our own thinking…I extend my challenge to you this week.  No matter what's facing you or what lies ahead, try playing around with your thinking about the problem.  Sometimes a change in perspective and attitude is all we need.  Curious about getting guidance for this task - contact me now via email and I'll share more ideas.

- Dr Corinne Scholtz specializes in marriage and family therapy in and around the Ft Lauderdale area. She is a top-rated local therapist and works with a wide variety of concerns and problems facing couples and individuals.

Marital Therapy? One of the best things for troubled relationships

Marital therapy is probably the best single thing that people in troubled marriages can do to help heal their marriages. Therapy provides support and can help distrusting and disengaged partners safely address their difficulties and begin the process of problem solving and healing.  One key component of this is confidentiality or working to make the therapy room a place of safety. 

This includes setting a tone of trust, for if clients feel a lack of trust with their therapist it’s likely they won’t get very far.  Emotional safety and trust begins to build a foundation to manage couples’ anger, frustration and contempt.  A skilled therapist will provide neutrality and privacy that helps couples to step out of defensive, combative, aggressive patterns of communication.

-- Dr Corinne Scholtz is a top-rated local family therapist who specializes in marriage counseling and couples therapy.  She has two office locations in 33301 and 33308. 

Body Awareness in Couples Communication

I often see couples struggling with ‘communication’.  When a couple shares they have trouble talking to one another, our goal is to break down the pattern of communication in the relationship, and to see where they feel it has become stalled.  Sometimes there are ‘hot topics’ that provoke such an intense reaction within the couple that they stay away from any discussion.   I’ve found that part of therapy is working with people to gently get closer to that which is most uncomfortable.  This is where the intimacy of the relationship is heightened.  The places that scare us the most are most likely one of the areas that need to be healed.  During our marriage counseling, each couple will learn skills and tips for managing anxiety when communicating, and options for how to respond to one’s partner when under stress.  A really common occurrence is feeling ‘flooded’ with emotion that limits the potential of any communication between the partners.   Meditation and body awareness exercises greatly impact the sensation of ‘shutting down’ and feeling the need to retreat. 

-- Dr Corinne Scholtz is a top-rated local family therapist who specializes in marriage counseling.  She has two office locations in 33301 and 33308. 

Every Relationship Needs A Little E.Q.

Every Relationship Needs A Little EQ 
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT specializes in marriage and family therapy in Ft. Lauderdale, 33301 & 33308. 

Unlike your I.Q., E.Q. stands for Emotional Intelligence and it's vital to the quality of relationships.
I see many couples in counseling who are in conflict, and not quite sure how to resolve the issue and move forward.  They cause each other frustration and pain, and seek marriage therapy to provide insight into how to improve their relationship.

After years of research on highly-satisfied married couples, researcher J. Gottman concluded that “happy marriages are based on deep friendship,” defined as “a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company.”  We tend not to enjoy each other's company when marital conflict appears.   And some degree of marital conflict is inevitable.  So, what to do?

Developing a deep friendship involves knowing the other person's likes, dislikes, preferences, daily frustrations, irritations and joy.  As much as we think we know the other, if we neglect to spend time 'checking in' with our partner we may miss out on this information.  After all, no one's growth is static, we are evolving all the time.

Having a deep friendship creates the opportunity for positive thoughts about the other to override negative thoughts.  What this means is if you can hold on to the idea that your partner is well intentioned and is a good person,  you will likely approach the conflict from a place of understanding.  If you fall into the trap of thinking your partner is ill-intentioned, more blame and defensiveness may appear.

Continuing to develop a deep friendship is one clue to emotional intelligence.  As John Gottman says, “The more emotionally intelligent a couple – the better able they are to understand, honor, and respect each other and their marriage – the more likely that they will live happily ever after.”

Counseling For Anxiety with Dr. Corinne Scholtz

Is Anxiety Always a Bad Thing?

It’s pretty natural to want to avoid experiences that make us feel uncomfortable.  The sensations that occur when we step outside of our comfort zone can be overwhelming and often we fall into the trap of having anxiety about our anxiety!

There are times though when feeling anxious is a good thing.  It can push us to examine ourselves in a more thoughtful way.  I’ve worked with many clients who develop an intimate relationship with themselves that didn’t exist before experiencing anxiety. 

I encourage you to challenge the assumption that anxiety is always a bad thing…and a sign that something is wrong.  Look more closely at the beliefs underlying the anxiety…what are you telling yourself?  Slow down and observe how you respond to anxiety…can you greet the sensations as you would an old friend, or do you fear your own anxiety?  What we resist will persist.  So one option is to welcome anxiety into your life and see what is trying to get your attention! 

Working with a skilled therapist is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself when working through self-growth.  For more information about my services and practice, please visit www.connectedliving-fl.com.

-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is the Founder of The Center of Connected Living- Fl, South Florida’s premier location for couples counseling, family therapy and individual counseling.  Her practice is located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale (33301) with an additional location on Commercial Blvd.  (33308). 

Make Your Relationship a Priority! Couples Counseling and Family Therapy in 33301 and 33308.

Couples Counseling – Make Your Relationship a Priority

I’ve been giving great thought to my personal goals for the year, and breaking them down into small steps that I can use in any moment, every day.  This includes setting intentions for my relationship, and in particular for my upcoming marriage.

Many couples seek therapy and relationship counseling because they feel some form of disconnect.  Perhaps they are fighting more than they would like.  Or maybe they haven’t really spoken for weeks.  Sometimes couples go days without actually touching one another, without a kiss, or a hug or even a sincere hello.  Many times people present in couples counseling with underlying resentments and hurt that comes from taking one another for granted. 

Relationships need tending to, and tending takes time (If the Buddha Married, 2001).   Emotionally investing in a relationship takes time, and we need to invest our energy and emotions into our relationship with our partner as well as with ourselves.  When we tend to our own ‘stuff’, it frees up energy to invest ourselves into our relationships. 

To explore your ‘tending’, think about this.  Add up all the hours in your week – the hours you spend sleeping, working, driving, eating, watching tv, showering, etc.  Then think of all the rest.  How much time are you spending with your partner?  And how would you define the time spent together – is it quality time where you are talking, or are you both zoned out in front of the TV?   And how about the amount of time you use to care for yourself?  Is it too little or just enough?

So, think of little ways you can tend to yourself as well as your partner today.  Small moments add up and always contribute to the quality of our relationships!

-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is a licensed marriage and family therapist.  She provides couples counseling and relationship therapy for individuals as well as families in downtown Ft Lauderdale and surrounding neighborhoods.