Couples Counseling – Make Your Relationship a Priority
I’ve been giving great thought to my personal goals for the
year, and breaking them down into small steps that I can use in any moment,
every day. This includes setting intentions
for my relationship, and in particular for my upcoming marriage.
Many couples seek therapy and relationship counseling
because they feel some form of disconnect.
Perhaps they are fighting more than they would like. Or maybe they haven’t really spoken for
weeks. Sometimes couples go days without
actually touching one another, without a kiss, or a hug or even a sincere
hello. Many times people present in
couples counseling with underlying resentments and hurt that comes from taking
one another for granted.
Relationships need tending to, and tending takes time (If
the Buddha Married, 2001). Emotionally
investing in a relationship takes time, and we need to invest our energy and
emotions into our relationship with our partner as well as with ourselves. When we tend to our own ‘stuff’, it frees up
energy to invest ourselves into our relationships.
To explore your ‘tending’, think about this. Add up all the hours in your week – the hours
you spend sleeping, working, driving, eating, watching tv, showering, etc. Then think of all the rest. How much time are you spending with your
partner? And how would you define the
time spent together – is it quality time where you are talking, or are you both
zoned out in front of the TV? And how
about the amount of time you use to care for yourself? Is it too little or just enough?
So, think of little ways you can tend to yourself as well as
your partner today. Small moments add up
and always contribute to the quality of our relationships!
-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is a licensed marriage and family
therapist. She provides couples
counseling and relationship therapy for individuals as well as families in
downtown Ft Lauderdale and surrounding neighborhoods.
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