Couples Counseling – Make Your Relationship a Priority
I’ve been giving great thought to my personal goals for the year, and breaking them down into small steps that I can use in any moment, every day. This includes setting intentions for my relationship, and in particular for my upcoming marriage.
Many couples seek therapy and relationship counseling because they feel some form of disconnect. Perhaps they are fighting more than they would like. Or maybe they haven’t really spoken for weeks. Sometimes couples go days without actually touching one another, without a kiss, or a hug or even a sincere hello. Many times people present in couples counseling with underlying resentments and hurt that comes from taking one another for granted.
Relationships need tending to, and tending takes time (If the Buddha Married, 2001). Emotionally investing in a relationship takes time, and we need to invest our energy and emotions into our relationship with our partner as well as with ourselves. When we tend to our own ‘stuff’, it frees up energy to invest ourselves into our relationships.
To explore your ‘tending’, think about this. Add up all the hours in your week – the hours you spend sleeping, working, driving, eating, watching tv, showering, etc. Then think of all the rest. How much time are you spending with your partner? And how would you define the time spent together – is it quality time where you are talking, or are you both zoned out in front of the TV? And how about the amount of time you use to care for yourself? Is it too little or just enough?
So, think of little ways you can tend to yourself as well as your partner today. Small moments add up and always contribute to the quality of our relationships!
-Dr. Corinne Scholtz is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She provides couples counseling and relationship therapy for individuals as well as families in downtown Ft Lauderdale and surrounding neighborhoods.