Own your message and realize it comes from your own frame of reference.

You do this be saying:
" I don't agree with you", rather than, "you're wrong"
"I'd like you to mow the lawn" vs. "You should really mow the lawn you know"

Ask for feedback.  'Am I being clear?"  "How do you see this situation?" Asking for feedback can encourage others to correct any misperceptions you may have as well as help others realize that you are expressing an opinion, feeling, or desire rather than a demand.

It is not what you say verbally, but also how you communicate nonverbally with voice tone, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions and posture that will influence your impact on others.

2. Be Direct and deliver your message to the person for whom it is intended.

The following statements project assertiveness:

I want to...
I don't want to...
Would you...
I liked it when you did that...
I have a different opinion...I think that...

Asserting yourself will not necessarily guarantee you happiness or fair treatment by others, nor will it solve all your personal problems or guarantee that other will be assertive and not aggressive toward you.

Specific Techniques for Assertiveness

1. Be as clear and specific as possible about what you need, want, think and feel.

When you allow the needs, opinions, and judgments of others to become more important than your own, you are likely to feel hurt, anxious and even angry.

You can change, enhance and develop your life in any way you determine at any point in time!

Opinions

You have the right to your own values, beliefs, opinions and emotions - and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of others.

You have the right to like yourself even though you aren't perfect!

You can always change your mind, make mistakes, and sometimes act illogically with full understanding and acceptance of the consequences.

You have the right to ask for information or help without having negative feelings about your needs.

You have the right to express yourself and say no, or I don't know, or I don't understand...

No explaining

You have the right not to justify or explain your actions or feelings to others.

You have the right to tell others how you wish to be treated.

Life

YOU have the right to decide how to lead your life!

Assertiveness

Do you often find that others coerce you into thinking their way?

Is it difficult to express your positive or negative feeling openly and honestly?

Do you sometimes lose control and become angry at those who don't warrant it?

Assertiveness basically means that ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states you needs and keeps the lines of communication open with the other.

-Ryan and Travis