Wisdom

Listen and talk to as many older people as you can.  They will have wisdom to share.  It is also a special gift for them to talk about their life and memories with someone who cares.

Making Money

Making your own money is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.  Having your own money is freedom to making decisions and building a life that reflects what you value most.

Alone Time

Everyone is going to spend time alone.  You may spend more time alone as a child, or you may remain single for some time in your adulthood.  Our experiences of togetherness and aloneness will shift over time.  Try to make the most of each of these experiences and see what you can learn about yourself.

Love

All it takes is that one person to change your life.  The one person who will stand by you no matter what.  The one person who wants to love you for who you are.  There will be many experiences of ‘false’ love.  It takes time for each of us to figure out who we want to be.  Keep your heart and eyes open. 

Hurt Feelings

Dear Reader,

When you're in a relationship, know that you will hurt other people’s feelings.  Sometimes they might cry.  Sometimes they will get angry at you.  Sometimes people’s feelings will get hurt even thought we don’t want them to.  And then other times we will hurt someone or say something mean because we are hurting.  Keep in mind that when we speak harshly to another person, attack another person with our words, ignore them, we will suffer just as much as the other.

Corinne
www.connectedliving-fl.com

Clear Vision

Keep your eyes open.  All the time. Clarity and seeing what is helps us to balance our lives. Try standing in front of the mirror on one leg. To do this you need to pick a point in front of you and hold your gaze.  If you try to balance with your eyes closed in the same position, you will fall much faster. Our gaze steadies us. It helps to support our lives.  Without clear vision we will fall.

Marriage and Family Therapist or Psychologist?

Someone looking for a therapist recently asked me, "What's the difference if we see a marriage and family therapist or a psychologist?" This person wants to work on her marriage, yet didn't really know how to find a good therapist or what would be best for her.  I observed how stressful and overwhelming this process could be for a new client. At first I stumbled trying to answer her question, and then I got into it.  


Think of it this way, I said, "When a couple begins therapy with a MFT, most likely the relationship will be the focus of conversation.  But, the therapist will also want to know about the broader influences on the couple as well.  They will probably look for patterns, and effects, and solutions.  They will try to see life from each person's perspective. This therapist will probably use collaborative language, and honor that you are the expert on your life.  


From what I understand, a psychologist will also be interested in talking about the relationship, but at some point may begin to focus on each individual. They may look to see what is negatively affecting the relationship, what each person could 'fix' about themselves, and often end the sessions with a diagnosis signifying a sort of 'character flaw'.  You may leave feeling as though this therapist knows better than you want you need.  It may seem that the therapist is privileged to information you don't have and will be an expert on how to change your life".      


Neither approach is good, bad, or better. There are some really great therapists from both orientations.  I just think it's really important to be an informed consumer. I'm so glad she asked this question. 

www.connectedliving-fl.com
Dr Corinne Scholtz, LMFT